February Catchup

Good Afternoon, Monday!
I'd like to take a minute or two and discuss briefly my past couple years on ' thewaywelaugh.'
I have loved having my own personal internet space. Knowing people are visiting & reading my aimless thoughts, is the little tiny bit of secular fulfillment that my ego needs every here & there. And this isn't a "It's been nice to know you, so goodbye" post. Definitely staying.

(*applause*?)

Just wanted to say "Hi, thank you SO gratefully, and please keep comfy."

I think now I've "remodeled" my website 3 times over the last couple years, just to keep things fresh. I did so again last Tuesday & I would like to hear your thoughts, if you noticed ;] ...

I've made some specific dedications on here in the past & this heartfelt post will be no different. Laughing is a cure to me. And to be honest, I haven't had as many good, hearty laughing sessions as I have needed in the last 6 months. I've had a relatively rough time adjusting to big-kid life, accepting some changes I've had to make, & leaning on certain people that I never expected to open up to. Into my life again, walked a woman that has both walked in & out of my life numerous times. Our friendship has transcended rationale. We've fought hard, we've cried together, we agree often & we have often agreed-to-disagree. For one, or a billion reasons, our friendship has reunited & glued us together for eternities that we'll never understand. But since the airing of the Disney Classic The Fox & The Hound, our mutual agreement upon the following lines couldn't be easier:

- "We'll always be friends forever, won't we?"

- "Yeah, forever."

That seals the deal. So Kelly, thank you for everything. Your sly humor, your teasing, your generosity, advice, hard-knock-love and your hugs when I've needed a lift so badly. They've meant more than all our growing mistakes. I will always support you in whatever you allow me to, & be there, for whatever new circumstance approaches your life. I can't wait for lots of years and more life shared with you, my ultimate best friend.

There have been numerous others as well, who have been there to share an insightful viewpoint, shake a finger at my mouth, and/or just hear me out when asked: "So how ARE you?"  And those particular ones who have been "granted" "the golden nugget of my friendship"... I thank you also. Heavily.

Katie(You just are the best kind of friend material. I love how easily you make me laugh. Don't stop.)
Mariah R.(You quickly shake me down into a condensed, more ideal version of myself)
Abby(You support me through anything, & tell me how it is, too)
Marino(You aren't afraid to yell at me when I need it, & keep me realistic. Huge respect, friend.)
Adam(You manage to still love me, even though I'm not the ideal family member)
Courtney(You GET me. And you always will. Couldn't deny that if I tried)
Patrick(Best brother ever, you keep me distracted exactly when I need it),

...these have all been little rocks along my way of instability. And a few others that I can't mention. You know who YOU are. And you're still here reading, which continues to prove your support & concern.

Everyone? Sincerely, I love you.


love, bex

A Need for Four Seasons

When the winter life rolls in, takes over,
Freezes my will to oppose it...
Your strong hands, intently holding mine
And your whisper to turn my back against the icy wind,
to look across at the warm return...
that's when I need you most.

And spring comes along,
with much rain and grey-sky,
with it's draining trenches...
But somewhere in the distance
you've pointed at some silver clouds,
you draw my hand to trace it- and
when I find it easier to laugh,
I look up to understand immediately
that this is when I need you the most.

But summer's heat does not mix
with my hair, altho the sun begs it to
be friends with long-distances kisses.
So I am bothered, sick, and
trying my hardest to
love, love, love air conditioning.
You insist that I keep dancing,
you fan me with gentle stories
to ease my many weary days.
And as I breathe easy, I fall asleep re-living
your compassion & patience;
I realize today was when I needed you most.

Then fall set in, but your hands
were tired from the year, and you would not tell me.
So I brought out a tucked-away letter,
written while I had waited up for your call one summer evening.
It read of how special you make
me feel every day of every season,
and how each one before us had been terribly incomplete.

"When you don't know what you don't have- what you don't know you ARE missing- the world can seem a felicity place. But with you, my world is brand new and I won't explore it alone."

You remembered that night,
Now your laugh lines pulled tight-
and I kissed your forehead like you
had kissed mine.
And I knew I had never needed you more.
----

xoxo, bex.