February Catchup

Good Afternoon, Monday!
I'd like to take a minute or two and discuss briefly my past couple years on ' thewaywelaugh.'
I have loved having my own personal internet space. Knowing people are visiting & reading my aimless thoughts, is the little tiny bit of secular fulfillment that my ego needs every here & there. And this isn't a "It's been nice to know you, so goodbye" post. Definitely staying.

(*applause*?)

Just wanted to say "Hi, thank you SO gratefully, and please keep comfy."

I think now I've "remodeled" my website 3 times over the last couple years, just to keep things fresh. I did so again last Tuesday & I would like to hear your thoughts, if you noticed ;] ...

I've made some specific dedications on here in the past & this heartfelt post will be no different. Laughing is a cure to me. And to be honest, I haven't had as many good, hearty laughing sessions as I have needed in the last 6 months. I've had a relatively rough time adjusting to big-kid life, accepting some changes I've had to make, & leaning on certain people that I never expected to open up to. Into my life again, walked a woman that has both walked in & out of my life numerous times. Our friendship has transcended rationale. We've fought hard, we've cried together, we agree often & we have often agreed-to-disagree. For one, or a billion reasons, our friendship has reunited & glued us together for eternities that we'll never understand. But since the airing of the Disney Classic The Fox & The Hound, our mutual agreement upon the following lines couldn't be easier:

- "We'll always be friends forever, won't we?"

- "Yeah, forever."

That seals the deal. So Kelly, thank you for everything. Your sly humor, your teasing, your generosity, advice, hard-knock-love and your hugs when I've needed a lift so badly. They've meant more than all our growing mistakes. I will always support you in whatever you allow me to, & be there, for whatever new circumstance approaches your life. I can't wait for lots of years and more life shared with you, my ultimate best friend.

There have been numerous others as well, who have been there to share an insightful viewpoint, shake a finger at my mouth, and/or just hear me out when asked: "So how ARE you?"  And those particular ones who have been "granted" "the golden nugget of my friendship"... I thank you also. Heavily.

Katie(You just are the best kind of friend material. I love how easily you make me laugh. Don't stop.)
Mariah R.(You quickly shake me down into a condensed, more ideal version of myself)
Abby(You support me through anything, & tell me how it is, too)
Marino(You aren't afraid to yell at me when I need it, & keep me realistic. Huge respect, friend.)
Adam(You manage to still love me, even though I'm not the ideal family member)
Courtney(You GET me. And you always will. Couldn't deny that if I tried)
Patrick(Best brother ever, you keep me distracted exactly when I need it),

...these have all been little rocks along my way of instability. And a few others that I can't mention. You know who YOU are. And you're still here reading, which continues to prove your support & concern.

Everyone? Sincerely, I love you.


love, bex

Questions.

Is it true love to wish better
for the person you love?
Or is love, feeling torture
at the thought of that one
with someone else?

Is it true fire to feel anger
from heavy, lonely eyes?
Or is fire what we use
to ignite our past?

Is true loyalty a dedication
to a thought or person?
Or is loyalty a trap
we set ourselves in,
when our pain of loss
cannot bear another turn?

Done.

Vague.
Poured out.
Shaking
Echoing breaths over sheets
This is true
This is pain
Where's my ocean,
To save me?