an article I wrote for another site...

Dear Public Automatic Flushing Toilets,

I am not fond of you.

Never was I, in the past, particularly in enjoyment of having my

hind end ogled by an anonymous technology.

But I endured years of your annoyances… flushing while I was still sitting down,

flushing too hard and lightly spraying the butt of my jeans with your tsunami swirl…

imagining that someday I’d HAVE to get used to you.

Today though, enough is enough.

As you screeched in the pitch to match a 6-year old’s terror, before the water even

began to stir, I would have peed my nylons, if I had not just gone #1.

So, just FYI… we are not longer distant friends. Not even the facebook friend

kindof distance, where you block them from seeing most everything blackmail-worthy.

I just kind of want to not sit down anymore.

Thanks for that, jackwagon.

<3, Bex.